James and the Giant Spot

James once had a spot.
“So What?” I hear you say.
But this spot was ENORMOUS
and wouldn’t go away.

“Leave alone! Don’t touch it!”
was what his mother said:
“Don’t even try to squeeze it yet –
It hasn’t got a head!”

But the spot just kept on growing,
it was like an extra limb.
James wondered, had he got a spot,
or had a spot got him?

He went to see the doctor,
who jumped up in surprise.
He’d seen and dealt with spots before –
but never one this size!

The chemist thought that ointment might
eradicate the spot.
He got out twenty-seven tubs,
and handed James the lot!

But James’s spot kept growing,
Oh, how his mother cried!
The spot grew so enormous,
James had to sleep outside!

The spot attracted interest
and drew the TV crews;
James and spot (or spot and James)
both made the evening news.

People came with cameras
to get a family shot:
wife and kids all standing
in front of James’s spot.


Hollywood came with chequebooks.
They thought it might be groovy
to make a multi-million dollar
film called “Spot – The Movie!”

The spot grew so colossal
that spacemen called to base:
“Houston – we have spotted it
from way up here in space!”

Mountaineers equipped themselves
with helmets, ropes, - the lot –
and joined the queue to climb up to
the peak of James’s spot.

Then, one night, things felt funny.
Poor James, he feared the worst.
The spot seemed kind of runny,
then, suddenly – it burst!

Chunks of gunk flew skywards
at twice the speed of sound!
They reached earth’s upper atmosphere,
then orbited around!

Astronomers by their telescopes,
staring through the void,
saw the core, and gave a roar,
“We’ve spotted an asteroid!”

So now, with all the planets,
and stars, all white and hot,
twinkling there, in the cold night air,
are bits of James’s spot.

As for James, he’s had his fame.
He showers every day,
and soaps and scrubs, and washes,
to keep those spots at bay.